The Freshman 50 Comes Off

to inspire, inform, and maybe bore you =)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Truth comes out..


So I have come back to second semester with a whole new outlook on life. It is great and although I miss my family, I know I have to be here and I need to make the best of it. I have been so happy knowing that I have friends that love and support me and knowing that for once in my life I think I am actually starting to truly be myself and love that person too.

Everyday since I have been back, I have been eating really well and working out everyday. I realized anything made in the cafe is pretty much really bad for you, so I have been sticking to salads, fruits, and occasional veggies (when not drenched in oil). And I got so lazy last semester, so I cannot believe I have worked out everyday since I've been back. I need to keep up with this- no excuses. I just put study time and gym time into my schedule so I have to do it, even if i go through the motions like a robot, I will do it. I even lost more weight!!

In addition to my "new semester resolution" to lose weight by going to the gym every day and eating much less/healthier, I have other life resolutions. For example, I tend to let situations with guys get me down and a lot of times I let them determine for me if I will be happy or not. Luckily for me, I met a really great guy when I was home for break and I like him a lot and we have talked on the phone every night. I think this long distance relationship will help me focus on what I need to do here so I do not go out and party, do things I'll regret, and waste time with guys that I do not need. That also leads me to the new resolution about drinking. Lets be blunt, I drink A LOT at school. I love drinking, I love alcohol and I love partying with my friends. Long story short, you can't be thin if you drink excessively. So since I have been back, I have been tempted to go out and go crazy, but I haven't. This doesn't mean I can't go out, party, and have a good time. I just need to be more responsible and know that what I want is to lose weight and drinking a ton will not help me with that.

Along with this new outlook and attitude about life, I have decided to be a little more outright and open with my readers on this blog. After reading many peoples' blogs I have realized the blunt honesty in which people tell their weights and everything they eat and I have decided it is about time for me to do the same.

The reason why I haven't done so yet is I feel embarrassed on many levels. For one, I have struggled with eating disorders in the past and I have recently recovered and have focused my mind more on being healthy, but it is still hard to see the numbers on the scale. On the other hand, I feel silly because there are some of you struggling to lose 100 or more lbs. However, I am throwing these concerns over my shoulder because WHO CARES!? Also, if I do this, I know everyone will know my weight so I have to lose or I will be embarrassed, so what's there to lose? Anyway, here goes...

So quick recap: 4 years ago I was 130. 3 years ago I dropped quickly down to and stayed at 105-108, two years ago I went up to 120 and thought the world was over, then last year I hit 145 and I was severely depressed. Then this summer came 152. I thought I'd never see this on the scale and I cried for days, but then came to the realization that I shouldn't be so obsessed with how I look because it is only important to be healthy for my family and myself. After this, I put weight worries aside and took a break from my obsessive working out habits. Then suddenly that fateful day this December I stepped on the scale to see the shocking number of 163.5. I had to detach all emotions from the number on the scale if this losing weight thing was going to work. And so I did...

Last Tuesday I got to 157.
Today I am 147.
My next goal is 142, but My ultimate goal is 112. (I'm pretty short, 5'3)...

I never thought I would say that I am excited to be this weight, but I am. I am proud of myself for taking the time to slowly but healthily lose weight. Turns out I must have had a lot of stress and water weight saved up because I lost 10 lbs in one week! Just goes to show how far perseverance can take you, because I am still going strong.

Today's Workout:
-28 min walk/run (switching incline with speed, 1 to 2 minutes of running intervals splashed in between)
-50 sit-ups
-lots of stretching
-5 min warm up on stationary bike

...p.s. last night I took my sisters Kickboxing and Spinning Classes (she's an instructor) and she KICKED my butt!! They were so hard, but I burned around 800 calories for both classes and I feel great, although my muscles are a little upset with me...haha You should give either one of those classes a try, they are awesome. They are so fun you don't realize you are working out if you get into them.

Today's Intake: (so far)
  • 1 1/2 breakfast bars
  • coffee
  • diet hot chocolate (which I'm enjoying as I read all your inspirational blogs)
So I hope this can serve as some sort of inspiration and make sure you realize it is okay to be selfish once and a while when you are trying to lose weight. One thing I learned is that, if my friend wants to go to the cafe for the 3rd time, I don't have to go just because I feel bad. I already ate, and she'll find someone else to go! Why would I eat more and gain weight just so she doesn't have to eat alone or with someone else? sounds a little harsh, but we have to do what we gotta do! Also, something I have been doing every day that is really working out that some of you may want to try is adjusting my eating schedule. I eat a fiber one bar every morning with a coffee before my 8:30 classes (every day) because I have no time to go to the cafe. Then I eat lunch btw 1230 and 1 and dinner is btw 5 and 6. I eat nothing after 6 and have tea every night around 9. I feel skinnier every morning,which gives me a super burst of motivation for the day... give it a try!

good luck <3>

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


ugh sorry it has been so long...I am a little slow when it comes to computers and technology so I had a mix-up and messed up this account because I forgot the password and what not. Anyway, I am back at school and doing so well!! I lost 4 pounds!! Nothing too big to discuss tonight and I hope everyone is doing well!

much love

Monday, January 11, 2010

keep on truckin'

I did so good today without even trying! Only a fiber one bar for breakfast, gym right after, Starbuck's (extra), small portion of some concoction my dad made then a few home made dumplings for dinner. I feel pretty great!!

I am slowly remembering some tips from my old diets that I can share with you guys. Besides the obvious of drink TONS of water, it is extremely important to drink a glass of water, right when you wake up and before you eat breakfast. It helps fill you up so you do not eat more than necessary and it gets you ready for the day, waking up your digestive system. Another tip, when you eat fruit in the morning, try to eat it after your coffee. Something to do with the acid of the coffee disturbing the fruit's digestion. Thats all I got for now.

keep smiling =)

Sunday, January 10, 2010


I ate SO MUCH today. My nieces and nephews were here and it is so stressful because there is so many of them and my sister gets angry easily so I was running around with them all day. And just ate. I feel like such a failure =( I am even embarrassed to go to the gym tomorrow...I don't think I can. I haven't been in so long.

Sorry for not having any motivating words tonight, I have to go to bed and erase this stupid day.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

need. sleep. now.

so this is going to be a short post since i am so tired,but today went well. I did not eat too much and I did a little bit of easy exercising. Nothing huge. But I am feeling a lot better than a few days ago, you know that feeling where you just know you lost some weight? yah that one. It's good=) I also don't have blue fingers today! Second full day in a row! yay=) I may possibly be kissing my Raynaud's goodbye already!

I am so super sleepy but my crazyyy friends got me addicted to Real World DC and Jersey Shore. I am not sure what it is, but I just CANT stop watching them. It's bad. I just watched the latest episodes instead of going to bed. Good choice...haha By the way, did you know that plentyyy of research says that getting more sleep while dieting improves chances of weight loss? People who sleep less are actually factually proven to be heavier than those who get 9 or 10 hours of sleep nightly. AKA I should have been asleep 3 hours ago if I want to lose weight...

Well, I am off to bed because my oldest sister and her 6 kids are coming to visit 9:30 am. and i still have to clean my house so they don't wreak it!! hehe wish me luck!!

Much love <3>

Friday, January 8, 2010

So turns out there was no real reason for me to be worrying so much in college. The stress caused weight gain and medical problems, but I just got grades back and they are pretty good! Silly me for worrying...

Anyway, I think I am back on track today for real!! I woke up today with only a small headache as compared to the huge ones the past few days. I had a few bites of random things before my actual breakfast which wasn't good, but I am working on that. Then I had a small lunch and I am totally in the mood to work out =)

So I do not have that much to report on, but I do have one question...I feel like I am so obsessed with food-- I am always thinking about it, how it effects me, when I get to eat more, etc. If I see food I basically need to eat it. I know a lot of other people who are concerned with weight loss also feel this way because we have sort of a flawed (but unnecessarily so) relationship with food. What I am trying to ask is, why is this? Why do we see food this way, but "normal people" can do things like eat their meal and be done with food. They don't always think of food or when they eat next. Why is there such a difference and how did we get to be like this? Some people seem to have it so easy...

Well, just some food for thought, if anything (pun intended).

Have a wonderful Friday =)

Thursday, January 7, 2010

So I found out that I have Raynaud's and I am a little anemic. There is still a possibility that I have something a little more, but I will not know that for another month. Did I mention that the weight gain was from serious stress? And stress is the main cause of Raynaud's disease. I have to find out what my stressors are and eliminate them one by one. I don't know what it is about me, but I get super stressed out about the smallest things. Even if I am going to say one sentence in front of a crowd I'll lose sleep because of it. I feel like a crazy person. Do you guys have any advice? I think I am going to give yoga a try even though I have always HATED it because I am the type of person who needs to be vigorously moving if I am going to "work out". We'll see how that goes.
I have to admit that I have been a little bit of a lazy bum the past few days- no gym, but I do feel better than I did a few days ago. Also, the other day I vacuumed my house and cleaned for two hours and I really felt like i had gone to the gym and lifted! I was so surprised how many calories you can burn while cleaning vigorously. Give it a try!
Well, no weigh in until Monday, but I am off to go better my spiritual, mental, and physical well being by first getting rid of some of this stress!!

Happy Thursday =)