So I have come back to second semester with a whole new outlook on life. It is great and although I miss my family, I know I have to be here and I need to make the best of it. I have been so happy knowing that I have friends that love and support me and knowing that for once in my life I think I am actually starting to truly be myself and love that person too.
Everyday since I have been back, I have been eating really well and working out everyday. I realized anything made in the cafe is pretty much really bad for you, so I have been sticking to salads, fruits, and occasional veggies (when not drenched in oil). And I got so lazy last semester, so I cannot believe I have worked out everyday since I've been back. I need to keep up with this- no excuses. I just put study time and gym time into my schedule so I have to do it, even if i go through the motions like a robot, I will do it. I even lost more weight!!
In addition to my "new semester resolution" to lose weight by going to the gym every day and eating much less/healthier, I have other life resolutions. For example, I tend to let situations with guys get me down and a lot of times I let them determine for me if I will be happy or not. Luckily for me, I met a really great guy when I was home for break and I like him a lot and we have talked on the phone every night. I think this long distance relationship will help me focus on what I need to do here so I do not go out and party, do things I'll regret, and waste time with guys that I do not need. That also leads me to the new resolution about drinking. Lets be blunt, I drink A LOT at school. I love drinking, I love alcohol and I love partying with my friends. Long story short, you can't be thin if you drink excessively. So since I have been back, I have been tempted to go out and go crazy, but I haven't. This doesn't mean I can't go out, party, and have a good time. I just need to be more responsible and know that what I want is to lose weight and drinking a ton will not help me with that.
Along with this new outlook and attitude about life, I have decided to be a little more outright and open with my readers on this blog. After reading many peoples' blogs I have realized the blunt honesty in which people tell their weights and everything they eat and I have decided it is about time for me to do the same.
The reason why I haven't done so yet is I feel embarrassed on many levels. For one, I have struggled with eating disorders in the past and I have recently recovered and have focused my mind more on being healthy, but it is still hard to see the numbers on the scale. On the other hand, I feel silly because there are some of you struggling to lose 100 or more lbs. However, I am throwing these concerns over my shoulder because WHO CARES!? Also, if I do this, I know everyone will know my weight so I have to lose or I will be embarrassed, so what's there to lose? Anyway, here goes...
So quick recap: 4 years ago I was 130. 3 years ago I dropped quickly down to and stayed at 105-108, two years ago I went up to 120 and thought the world was over, then last year I hit 145 and I was severely depressed. Then this summer came 152. I thought I'd never see this on the scale and I cried for days, but then came to the realization that I shouldn't be so obsessed with how I look because it is only important to be healthy for my family and myself. After this, I put weight worries aside and took a break from my obsessive working out habits. Then suddenly that fateful day this December I stepped on the scale to see the shocking number of 163.5. I had to detach all emotions from the number on the scale if this losing weight thing was going to work. And so I did...
Last Tuesday I got to 157.
Today I am 147.
My next goal is 142, but My ultimate goal is 112. (I'm pretty short, 5'3)...
I never thought I would say that I am excited to be this weight, but I am. I am proud of myself for taking the time to slowly but healthily lose weight. Turns out I must have had a lot of stress and water weight saved up because I lost 10 lbs in one week! Just goes to show how far perseverance can take you, because I am still going strong.
-28 min walk/run (switching incline with speed, 1 to 2 minutes of running intervals splashed in between)
-lots of stretching
-5 min warm up on stationary bike
...p.s. last night I took my sisters Kickboxing and Spinning Classes (she's an instructor) and she KICKED my butt!! They were so hard, but I burned around 800 calories for both classes and I feel great, although my muscles are a little upset with me...haha You should give either one of those classes a try, they are awesome. They are so fun you don't realize you are working out if you get into them.
Today's Intake: (so far)
- 1 1/2 breakfast bars
- diet hot chocolate (which I'm enjoying as I read all your inspirational blogs)
So I hope this can serve as some sort of inspiration and make sure you realize it is okay to be selfish once and a while when you are trying to lose weight. One thing I learned is that, if my friend wants to go to the cafe for the 3rd time, I don't have to go just because I feel bad. I already ate, and she'll find someone else to go! Why would I eat more and gain weight just so she doesn't have to eat alone or with someone else? sounds a little harsh, but we have to do what we gotta do! Also, something I have been doing every day that is really working out that some of you may want to try is adjusting my eating schedule. I eat a fiber one bar every morning with a coffee before my 8:30 classes (every day) because I have no time to go to the cafe. Then I eat lunch btw 1230 and 1 and dinner is btw 5 and 6. I eat nothing after 6 and have tea every night around 9. I feel skinnier every morning,which gives me a super burst of motivation for the day... give it a try!
good luck <3>