to inspire, inform, and maybe bore you =)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Truth comes out..


So I have come back to second semester with a whole new outlook on life. It is great and although I miss my family, I know I have to be here and I need to make the best of it. I have been so happy knowing that I have friends that love and support me and knowing that for once in my life I think I am actually starting to truly be myself and love that person too.

Everyday since I have been back, I have been eating really well and working out everyday. I realized anything made in the cafe is pretty much really bad for you, so I have been sticking to salads, fruits, and occasional veggies (when not drenched in oil). And I got so lazy last semester, so I cannot believe I have worked out everyday since I've been back. I need to keep up with this- no excuses. I just put study time and gym time into my schedule so I have to do it, even if i go through the motions like a robot, I will do it. I even lost more weight!!

In addition to my "new semester resolution" to lose weight by going to the gym every day and eating much less/healthier, I have other life resolutions. For example, I tend to let situations with guys get me down and a lot of times I let them determine for me if I will be happy or not. Luckily for me, I met a really great guy when I was home for break and I like him a lot and we have talked on the phone every night. I think this long distance relationship will help me focus on what I need to do here so I do not go out and party, do things I'll regret, and waste time with guys that I do not need. That also leads me to the new resolution about drinking. Lets be blunt, I drink A LOT at school. I love drinking, I love alcohol and I love partying with my friends. Long story short, you can't be thin if you drink excessively. So since I have been back, I have been tempted to go out and go crazy, but I haven't. This doesn't mean I can't go out, party, and have a good time. I just need to be more responsible and know that what I want is to lose weight and drinking a ton will not help me with that.

Along with this new outlook and attitude about life, I have decided to be a little more outright and open with my readers on this blog. After reading many peoples' blogs I have realized the blunt honesty in which people tell their weights and everything they eat and I have decided it is about time for me to do the same.

The reason why I haven't done so yet is I feel embarrassed on many levels. For one, I have struggled with eating disorders in the past and I have recently recovered and have focused my mind more on being healthy, but it is still hard to see the numbers on the scale. On the other hand, I feel silly because there are some of you struggling to lose 100 or more lbs. However, I am throwing these concerns over my shoulder because WHO CARES!? Also, if I do this, I know everyone will know my weight so I have to lose or I will be embarrassed, so what's there to lose? Anyway, here goes...

So quick recap: 4 years ago I was 130. 3 years ago I dropped quickly down to and stayed at 105-108, two years ago I went up to 120 and thought the world was over, then last year I hit 145 and I was severely depressed. Then this summer came 152. I thought I'd never see this on the scale and I cried for days, but then came to the realization that I shouldn't be so obsessed with how I look because it is only important to be healthy for my family and myself. After this, I put weight worries aside and took a break from my obsessive working out habits. Then suddenly that fateful day this December I stepped on the scale to see the shocking number of 163.5. I had to detach all emotions from the number on the scale if this losing weight thing was going to work. And so I did...

Last Tuesday I got to 157.
Today I am 147.
My next goal is 142, but My ultimate goal is 112. (I'm pretty short, 5'3)...

I never thought I would say that I am excited to be this weight, but I am. I am proud of myself for taking the time to slowly but healthily lose weight. Turns out I must have had a lot of stress and water weight saved up because I lost 10 lbs in one week! Just goes to show how far perseverance can take you, because I am still going strong.

Today's Workout:
-28 min walk/run (switching incline with speed, 1 to 2 minutes of running intervals splashed in between)
-50 sit-ups
-lots of stretching
-5 min warm up on stationary bike

...p.s. last night I took my sisters Kickboxing and Spinning Classes (she's an instructor) and she KICKED my butt!! They were so hard, but I burned around 800 calories for both classes and I feel great, although my muscles are a little upset with me...haha You should give either one of those classes a try, they are awesome. They are so fun you don't realize you are working out if you get into them.

Today's Intake: (so far)
  • 1 1/2 breakfast bars
  • coffee
  • diet hot chocolate (which I'm enjoying as I read all your inspirational blogs)
So I hope this can serve as some sort of inspiration and make sure you realize it is okay to be selfish once and a while when you are trying to lose weight. One thing I learned is that, if my friend wants to go to the cafe for the 3rd time, I don't have to go just because I feel bad. I already ate, and she'll find someone else to go! Why would I eat more and gain weight just so she doesn't have to eat alone or with someone else? sounds a little harsh, but we have to do what we gotta do! Also, something I have been doing every day that is really working out that some of you may want to try is adjusting my eating schedule. I eat a fiber one bar every morning with a coffee before my 8:30 classes (every day) because I have no time to go to the cafe. Then I eat lunch btw 1230 and 1 and dinner is btw 5 and 6. I eat nothing after 6 and have tea every night around 9. I feel skinnier every morning,which gives me a super burst of motivation for the day... give it a try!

good luck <3>


  1. Thanks for opening up. I think you are right about the blogosphere in general and that they tend to use it as a journal for some mental health as well. I think your resolutions are great.

    One thought for you though on your goal weight. If we use the BMI (which I hate, but seems to be the only standard that is used), for someone who is 5'3, at the exact middle of the normal range (BMI of 21.7), you'd be 122.51 pounds. If you want to be just inside the normal range (BMI 24.9), you'd target 140.58. However, with a target of 112, your BMI would be 19.84 which is still within the normal range just above the 18.5 boundary.

    In short, while your target is a normal target, it is very aggressive. Thought you might want to look at some other numbers, too.

    Keep at it!

  2. Great job on losing that weight. Everyone here will be supportive as you lose weight, even if it's less to lose, the struggle is still the same. It sounds like you're not only making healthier choices, but better choices in how you live your life too. Drinking a lot can have major impacts on the choices you make and also on your body. Way to go!

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